/* This JavaScript (Random Quotes) developed by Scott Clark
The Source is available at http://www.clarksco.com/blog/
Copyright 2005 Clark Consulting */

var num_of_quotes = 34;
quotes = Math.floor (num_of_quotes * Math.random());

if (quotes==0) {
body="Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.";
}

if (quotes==1) {
body="A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.";
}

if (quotes==2) {
body="Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes.";
}

if (quotes==3) {
body="Few women admit their age.  Few men act theirs.";
}

if (quotes==4) {
body="640K ought to be enough for anybody.  -- Bill Gates (1981)";
}

if (quotes==5) {
body="Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.";
}

if (quotes==6) {
body="Microsoft is a cross between the Borg and the Ferengi.  Unfortunately they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming.  -- Simon Oke";
}

if (quotes==7) {
body="Ridiculous Lucky Captain Rabbit King!  Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth!";
}

if (quotes==8) {
body="I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson";
}

if (quotes==9) {
body="Random chance favors the prepared mind. -- Charles Goodyear";
}

if (quotes==10) {
body="Black holes are where God divided by zero.  -- Steven Wright";
}

if (quotes==11) {
body="Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion; you must set yourself on fire. -- Reggie Leach";
}

if (quotes==12) {
body="If God didn't mean for us to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three to a can.";
}

if (quotes==13) {
body="Imagination is more important than knowledge.  -- Albert Einstein";
}

if (quotes==14) {
body="There is no greater evil than arrogance backed by brute force.  -- B. Banzai";
}

if (quotes==15) {
body="The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.  -- Mark Twain";
}

if (quotes==16) {
body="Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.  -- Groucho Marx";
}

if (quotes==17) {
body="Take what you've got and find a way to make it work for you. -- Ray Charles";
}

if (quotes==18) {
body="Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. -- Harriet Braiker ";
}

if (quotes==19) {
body="Got funk?  www.georgeclinton.com";
}

if (quotes==20) {
body="So this is how liberty ends--with thunderous applause.  -- Padmé";
}

if (quotes==21) {
body="Only Nixon could go to China. -- Vulcan proverb";
}

if (quotes==22) {
body="The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.  -- Michelangelo";
}

if (quotes==23) {
body="I reject your reality and substitute my own! -- Adam Savage (Mythbuster)";
}

if (quotes==24) {
body="Do geese see god?";
}

if (quotes==25) {
body="May a moody baby doom a yam?";
}

if (quotes==26) {
body="Nurse, I spy gypsies - run!";
}

if (quotes==27) {
body="God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!";
}

if (quotes==28) {
body="Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog";
}

if (quotes==29) {
body="Never be afraid to try something new.  A lone amateur built the ark, a team of professionals built the Titanic.  -- Dave Barry";
}

if (quotes==30) {
body="Space aliens have neat stuff. Their space cookies are good, too. -- The Tick";
}

if (quotes==31) {
body="Villains always have antidotes. They're funny that way. -- The Tick";
}

if (quotes==32) {
body="Tomorrow:  One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.";
}

if (quotes==33) {
body="Finally! I get to save the universe with lasers instead of slide shows.  -- Al Gore";
}

document.write(''+ body +'');